We are alive...

I blame the lack of posts on a few things...


Most everyone knows but we found out in September that Kevin will be going to Korea for a year, in June 2011. We also found out in September that we are expecting baby #3. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, and this baby has been making me extremely sick and tired. Also in the middle of September, we bought a house. Yes, everything happened in September. Sept 1 he got orders, Sept 5 found out I was prego, Sept 8 found out he was for sure going, Sept 10 was supposed to close on our house, Sept 16 finally closed on our house.

In October Brok started at the Dysart Early Childhood Education Center, a specialized preschool for kids with special needs, and a few integrated "regular" kids. He is doing phenominal and rides the bus to school and home from school everyday. he has also been getting ABA therapy daily, and has made such great progress over the passed few months. He uses a PEC (picture exchange communication) book to tell us what he wants. He is now also able to make small marks on the paper with a marker, stack 4 blocks, nest cups, etc. Its amazing the progress.

Lukas turned 2 in October and is now starting to talk a ton more, and is getting too smart for his own good. He is daddy's little mini me, and is obsessed with bikes, and jets. He is such a sweet boy and I love him tons!

And baby #3 is a..... GIRL! I finally get my little girl! We had a tougher time decideing her name than with either boy, and it finally came down to Lukas deciding. He refused to say the other 2 names we liked and the second we asked him to say Kenadi, he said kk and kkeni. It's pronounced Kennedy. Her name is Kenadi Lynette Beal and she is due May 9, 2011, though we are shooting for mid to end of April so that Kevin can have a few more weeks with her. I am thrilled but it is so different to buy for girls than boys!

As for me, I am 17 wks along and am just starting to feel a little better, I have crazy heartburn and can't eat any sugar, if I do, I automatically throw it up. I live off Zofran, which helps me a ton, and I have to eat the second I feel hungry or else I am in trouble. I already look like I am ready to deliver, and actually had a lady ask me when I was due, I guess it's a good thing I never had that awkward stage of just looking fat. she is realy active, especially after I use the bathroom, or lay down, she has more room.

Kevin is busy as ever and is preparing to go to ALS, airman leadership school starting in January as a result of passing the test to become a Staff Sargeant. It should be interesting. He is also enjoying his new house, rebuilding the playground and organizing his garage and his workspace outside.

And that's what happened in the last 6 months in a nutshell. Maybe someday I will be better at this...

Really late & I should be in bed but...

I missed blogging about Brok's 3rd Birthday... I am such a bad mom...

March 23rd Brok turned 3. Wow where did the time go. I remember the events leading up to him being born & how valuable the next 6wks were...

Some things about Brok:
~Wears a 4T/5T & size 7/8 shoe
~37.5lbs & 40" tall
~Started preschool on his birthday
~is getting better at using pictures to show me what he wants
~can kind of follow directions- Brok come here, Brok no, Brok get your cup

I can't believe my little baby is 3! My dear friend Mary took some awesome pictures of him on his birthday. He wasn't in the best mood until I brought the food! She captured his personality so well!

Since starting School, Brok has been able to sit for 15min at circle time, likes all things green (he was able to pick out a bunch of toys that he can mouth or smell & play with & they are all green!) & LOVES to go to school! His teacher said he is so cute & so loving & that he is well behaved! We have noticed that he is a different child in the last week. He will hold your hand & walk with you, he doesn't throw as many fits & is really Chill...

anyway, more posts to come but I needed to post these!

2 posts in 1 week? WHAT

I was too excited not to share! I am published! My first ad in a magazine! EEK!

UTAH BABY GUIDE page 25

so little time & so much to do!

It's march, where did february go?

~Brok started speech again with an awesome therapist
~Kevin started night flying- UGH
~Lukas learned how to say Go, shoe, ball & learned how to catch
~Ashley spent all her time running around like a crazy lady...

March is always a hard/happy month for me... 10 years ago march 8th, 2000 my dear sweet grandma took her last breath & left to be with our heavenly father, my little sister was not even 2wks old. Spring Break is always in March, which would be fun if I was in school... bittersweet. March was the last month where Kevin & I were simply a couple & not a family. March was the month where I became a mother. March was the month where I found out I would be a mom again... & march marks that time of year where the temps start going up...

This March is already in full swing. It has rained every weekend (only 2 so far), Brok has gotten his second ear infection. We met with the school district to determine Brok's qualifications for preschool. We found out that in 2 short weeks my baby will start preschool. I will no longer have simply 2 toddlers, but a preschooler & a toddler. We have planted a garden (well that was in feb but still) & we have bought a new computer & not had to put it on a credit card. What a month we have in store.

I can't believe that the time has come to send my boy off to school. I won't lie, I am terrified. What if he is as horrible for them as he is for us? He is going to have his own "aide" but I still wonder. What if he just cries the whole time? what if he doesn't want to do anything they are doing or doesn't want to eat what they are eating? and my worst fear? what if he breaks something or himself? This is so exciting & will hopefully get us on the right track to getting him ready for normal life, and possibly to communicate with us but I am terrified!

anyway, that's my thoughts for now... more to update as the month goes on!

what have we been up to?

Just about everything! I will post pictures later so sorry this will be boring!

Nov:
~Kevin & I celebrated 4 years of marriage. We didn't get to go out, but we were able to enjoy some alone time after the kidlets went to bed & he surprised me with taking the night off to spend with me.
~We enjoyed a quiet Thanksgiving at home just the 4 of us. It was fun and we enjoyed the family time.
~Lukas officially started walking- he's been walking for a while but during november, he officially decided he could walk like Bubba.
~We all had the flu, the swine flu & your common cold for several days. It was horrible!

December:
~We decided to spend Christmas at home, instead of visiting family. It was a lot of fun & we made some good memories as a family! The boys loved all their presents & we loved having a stress free (or relatively) holiday!
~We also made a decision to move into a cheaper rental home. We weren't really in the market to move, but couldn't pass up this deal! (more details to follow)
~We were able to go to the Insight Bowl on New Year's Eve. The boys loved going and watching all the people, especially the band!
~We marked 2 years since we were told that Brok was autistic the first time @ 9months old. What a great 2 yrs is has been.
~Kevin went back to working day shift. This was a major adjustment!

So far this year:
~We were able to march in the Fiesta Bowl parade! Kevin volunteered to march & be a part of it & spouses/family were invited to join in with. We had a blast walking & being a part of something so cool!
~Brok went to stay with Granny & Grandpa (Ashley's parents) for 9 days (he comes back tomorrow & we are so excited!)
~We MOVED~!!! This house is awesome! It's only half mile from our old house, but is out of the HOA, cheaper rent & the most awesome backyard! It is 5bd 3 bath 2100 sq ft. Yes, we just can't stay in one place that long, although we were in our last house for a year & a half. It has in the backyard, a basketball court, a swingset/jungle gym, 2 sheds, a garden, grass & a place for an above ground pool. This house is such a great layout as well & we are happy that the move is over!

That is what we have been up to these past few months! once we get everthing hooked up right, I will post pictures!

~~ As a little extra note- my mom sent this to me & I loved it so I wanted to post it here for all you to read!

***How an Autistic Child Thinks:
Nobody can see my disability. I look just like every other kid-attractive, walking, making sound's. They can't see how my neurons are scrambled in my brain. They can't see the misconnections between the left and right brain. Nobody can see I have autism.
Nobody can see that my body is sick. No one can see that my stomach is in knots from my digestive system not working. No one can that my body and mind are starving because my cells don't make the right enzymes to digest food. No one see that I suffer from low blood sugar because I can't properly metabolize nourishment.
No one can see that my body is attacking its own nerve cells from auto-immune dysfunction. No one can see that mercury lead and arsenic cannot be excreted from my body, so it keeps building up in my brain. No one understands that my body cannot tolerate normal enjoyments for children, like bright, vivid colors and loud noises. I desperately want to be a kid and enjoy these things, but my body just won't let me.
But everyone can see how inappropriate my behavior can be when I am out in public. Everyone can see how immature I can be compared to other kids my age. Everyone sees the 2-year old tantrums when things have been too overwhelming for me. Everyone sees my frustration from trying to cope.
Everyone sees my screaming and fighting. Everyone just assumes I'm being bad, not that my body hurts, my eyes are in pain from colors, my ears ring with loud noises not heard by others.
Everyone sees my tantrums when I don't get my way. No one sees that I can't explain my fear when I think I'm not being understood. Everyone may see my screams when my mom takes something away from me. No one can see that having something of comfort can keep my fears under control for me, and taking it away makes my nerves explodes in anxiety.
No one understands how hard I have to work to keep my behaviors from reacting to the chemical imbalances in my body that makes me feel horrible. No one can see that, no matter how hard I try, sometimes I cannot control it. No one can see the shame I feel after I've had a meltdown from my body's problems.
What they don't see I am a person. I have feelings and want to be loved and accepted like everyone else. What they don't see is that, when they look at me like I need a good spanking; I understand that I'm not capable of controlling my body.
What they don't see is that I scream because I don't know how to say "HELP ME"
What they don't see is that I hear every ugly word they say, but for the life of me, I can't make my mouth say what I'm feeling. But they don't see that as a disability. They say I am unmanageable. They say I am a problem.
But I am not a problem. I HAVE AUTISM. My mom has taken me to more doctors and specialist than you can ever imagine. She's read more books and done more research on my disease than parents would ever want. She has tried special diet, supplements, drugs and various metabolic therapies. She has PRAYED for GUIDANCE and asked for discernment on how to help my body. And behaviors, OH YES, has she tried everything to help my behavior.
Stop telling her all I need is a spanking. If spanking would stop all this, my mom would gladly exchange my disability for a spanking. She knows better than all of you what I need to help me, and what we both need is your understanding, not ignorance.
I just want to be accepted and understood. No blamed and ashamed, I want to be appreciated for my gifts. I do have some if you look more closely. I want to be cared for as a person. I want you to care, even when I act like I don't.
I want to be respected, just like you do. I want you to respect my mom and dad for all the hard work they have done to help me try to lead a normal a life as possible. I want you to respect my family and all the struggles we have to endure because of our love for each other.
I want to be LOVED like any other child. And need you to role model respectful behavior for me so I can be respectful too. I want you to love me just like God would.