Lukas's blessing

Sunday March 29. 2009
2:30 pm
Leeds LDS chapel Relief Society Room

Come if you want! We'd love to have you!

PLEASE READ the other post!

The past 2 yrs- I Love you Brok

Where have they gone? I could swear I was just pregnant with you! I was wondering what you would look like, who you would be like & how I could love someone so much!

& then you were here & my life has never been the same! You were sent to me to teach me patience & how to love. I don't know what I would do without you! The past year has been something to remember!

You are my special kid- You make me laugh & cry & want to pull my hair out! But overall I just have an overwhelming feeling of love... You teach me something new everday! You are my hero- when you fall, you don't give up- you get back up & keep movin... I am so proud of all you have accomplished... From last year when Dr Harsha told us you had autism, to now where we know you have sensory integration disorder so much has changed! You couldn't even hardly sit up! Now you are crawling around like a mad man & cruising around all the furniture! you are sooo close to walking! You couldn't hold your bottle, let alone drink out of a cup! Now you are a pro! You can use a cup with a straw, & can even sometimes with help drink from the dixie cups during nursery!

you Couldn't talk, now you can say mom & can sign more, please & eat! You LOVE to read your pink ant book & to swing!

Brok, I love you! I love how your eyes light up when your dad walks into the room & even more how even though you are a daddy's boy, you still will always love your mom, I love how you cock your head to the side to look at us when we pick you up, I love how you can fall asleep on the floor- anywhere, anytime- even in the pizza place! I Love how you are content to play with silverware or wires! I love how you can laugh & cry in the same breath! I love how you steam roll or plow over your brother & how much he adores you! You are so special to me & I want you to always remember that!

Happy birthday bug! you are my baby & I can't believe that it has been 2 yrs since you came into my world & left your mark! You have taught me so much about myself & about life & I am so grateful that you chose me to be your mommy! I love you Brok Grant Beal!

2 year stats:

28lbs 3oz

36in

• crawled at 16mo
• cruised for the first time at 17mo
• Became a big brother at 18mo & 3wks
• climbed stairs for the first time at 19.5mo
• climbed onto the couch first time at 22mo
• climbed down the stairs first time at 23mo
• opened the toilet for the first time :) at 23mo

ps- this is a day late but we are visiting Granny & Grandpa so I couldn't use the computer!

This week in my life... sorry- it's long

Will live forever...

I am going to vent so please bear with me...

How does my day go everyday?

6-645am: feed Lukas for the umpteenth time, Brok wakes up screaming even though he went to bed at eleven pm

7am: get kids out of bed, drag my butt to get out of bed as well

715am: Lukas goes back to sleep, Try to keep Brok quiet so Kevin can sleep

730am: get ready for the day- 5min on me 35min getting bag & Kids ready to go- feed Lukas really fast

8am: Leave house to pick up Takara for school

815am: pick up Takara

830am: Drop off Takara- Listen to kids screaming because they want to be home

9am: figure out something to do for an hr before the playdate

915am: wander around Target or Michael's for an hr with screaming children, Feed Lukas while walking pushing the stroller with Brok- covered of course

10am: Playdate- Few minutes of solitude & peace until Lukas realizes he is tired & hungry & Brok gets mad because he can't go outside

NOON: Pack up, head home & hope that Kevin got enough sleep to function

1-130ishpm: Many days this is the therapy hour, with Brok screaming.

2pm: feed Lukas, try to squeeze in some work, put Brok down (if Kevin doesn't have plans to go do something) where he will scream once again because he doesn't want to sleep

3pm-4pm: usually once again, out & about with Kevin, trying to get in that "quality family time"

5-7pm: Eat, Brok naps-if we're lucky, Lukas eats, eats & eats some more, clean, possibly shower, maybe work

8pm: Kevin begins getting ready for work, Brok screams for an hr straight, wants to go to bed but I won't let him because he will be up at 5am

830-9pm: Kevin leaves for work, I start getting the boys ready for bed, feed Lukas, finally give up on Brok staying awake, put him screaming into his bed only to have him get out & get mad because he is locked in his room

10pm: feed Lukas, hang out with Brok hoping he will just crash on the floor

11pm: Brok is out, try to get some work done

1130pm: Feed Lukas & debate about going to bed yet

12am: finally get to sit & relax, maybe get more work done, maybe read

1230am: Feed Lukas

1am: get into bed

130am: fall asleep- if I am lucky

2am: feed Lukas

230am: sleep

3-5am: feed Lukas every 40min, go back to sleep

530am: get text from kevin saying he is off, or he climbs into bed

6am- starts all over again

I am mentally, physically & emotionally exhausted. I want to curl up in a ball & cry- I haven't had time to finish a project in one sitting in who knows how long... I don't even get to sleep in on the weekends because he has to keep some of the same hours so that his body isn't all messed up- that means that he stays up til 3am & yet I still have to get up in the mornings- I understand saturdays, fine because he works til 530am but seriously? He can go to bed at midnight & still get more sleep than I do on Saturday nights & still feel the same hours wise but he wont... & when I ask for help, he says he is tired... HA! I don't think he knows what tired is! He gets a straight at least 5hrs of sleep once we leave in the morning- but not like it matters, even if I did get to sleep in, he can't keep them quiet or doesn't seem to think it's fair so I never get to actually go back to sleep...

& the crappy part is that Kevin is on this schedule for another month at least! We get a short break for a week to go home but even then it's going to be an adjustment!

sorry for venting, I just had to get it out... It's so frustrating to me- not to mention that instead of him being able to have a shot to get off early once in a blue moon, due to the fact that he had a class the first 3wks of feb, & then the first week of night flying had another one day class, they are all so mean to him so he never gets off early- This week he is working the snack bar so that is a definate 530am quittin time... ARGH!

& another thing to make this even worse? They still don't have Brok's test results back- Part of them are back & are normal but we are still waiting on others... GRRRRRR

On a lighter note- I did get a new double jogger yesterday- we went to return a piece to our gate & I saw it out of box up there & asked, nothing wrong with it, just a return & they gave 10% off plus I had a coupon for $20 off a jogger so it came out to be $165.18 instead of $220! Plus, $30 we had in cash from returning the thing! It's awesome!

& Brok can now go up & down the stairs- alone, without falling- he has gotten so good at that! We had a yard sale on Saturday ($200+!) & so we just put up the dog food & water & left him inside, checking every so often. I checked on him once & he had climbed up so I just checked a few min later to be sure he wasn't by the gate & he was downstairs- I thought Kevin had brought him down & then I realized that Kevin was putting up signs! :) Good job buddy! I am so impressed with his progress- the sensory makes him a completely different kid! It's hard to believe that my baby will be 2yrs old in 13days! Where has the time gone! I love you Brok!

Lukas is doing so well at sitting up, he still needs support but he is getting to be so big! He is a major cuddler! He is also starting to want to bring his knees up- I know it's a good sign but I can't chase 2 kids around!!!

I also started to use cloth diapers this past week... I have a couple friends who LOVE them & I have always been afraid to try- I did some research & realized that the cloth diapers were not so scary! I use a brand called Gdiapers that have a flushable insert- they can also be tossed like a disposable but they biodegrade in 50-100days versus 500yrs... They have an outer cover with a plastic liner & then you just put the insert in & put them on! We use cloth inserts @ night & they are still not as bad! I have found a new love- Brok always got bad rashes, he hasn't since we started these! YAY!

Anwyay sorry for all the ranting, I hope that these next 4wks go fast!

GiveAway

I just posted so PLEASE read that one too but I am hosting a give away on my site & want all my mommy & blogger friends to participate! Check it out & maybe one of you can win!


http://www.babybugcreationsllc.com/

I am also featured in a giveaway on www.thelittlewindowshoppe.com

Chaos is the story of my life!

What a few weeks it has been! I swear I dont know where the time goes!

All about Brok's appt:

Absolutely nothing! We had to drive 30+min to make it there during the worst time of the day & then we waited for 20min to get called into the room & another 30+min to see the doc! Then when the doc came in it didn't get much better... It was a resident doc who is the developmental pediatrician, he asked all the medical histories, etc & did all that stuff, he kept saying it wasn't Mental Retardation (ok soooo obvious) but never said yay or nay for autism. He kept saying that it was a blanket term for if they cant find something else wrong. So then he leaves and another 15+ min ago by, still trapped in this tiny room, & he returns with the pediatric neurologist who goes through all this schpiel about how they don't like to use the term autism & how Brok may or may not have it blah blah blah- still nothing to jump about, no diagnosis, no hope, NOTHING! Then he starts saying well we're going to test for chromosome abnormalities to see if there is something there & then if it comes back as nothing, we'll do some more invasive ones & oh yeah, he's going to need to have his hearing tested & oh yeah, he needs to have another pyschoeval through DDD. Anyway so still no answer, they took lots of blood from him & we get those results back on Wed. I guess we'll see what they say... I can't say I am relieved or disappointed... it seems like a big circle of never-ending nothingness...

As for the rest of the time, we have been doing really well with the sensory, we found the coolest swing at ikea that is perfect for him, it's a pouch but has an inflatable pillow thing so he still sits up & we hung it in the baby's room (since he still sleeps in our room). Brok LOVES it! & i see it making a difference! If he gets really fussy, I swing him & he calms, even if it's just a few minutes of swinging, it makes a huge difference! He is more receptive to learning because he has that input. He doesn't get upset near as much & is learning more & more! We also decided to take off the side of his bed- he is now a big boy- because he would scream so early to get him out but now he just gets out on his own & plays, gives us another 15-30min of sleep at least! YES! This is how we found him the first night, sometimes we still find him like this! I put his crib bumpers on the floor next to the bed anticipating a fall! Now we have a giant stuffed dog that he sleeps on if he falls out! & yes, naked kid, it's soooo hot here lately! He also discovered that he likes thin mints, I thought they were safe on the ledge but he climbed on the couch & got a hold of them!

Lukas is now also in the crib, in our room, next to the bed, with the side off... He wasn't sleeping well in the pack & play (not that he does much better in this) so I decided to make the change- he does better, sleeps for a long chunk when he first goes down but he eats all night! He is still a little skinny kid, the size 2 huggies overlap halfway around him- but we love him! He is learning so much! He can now roll back to stomach & a few times has gone all the way back to his stomach! He can also "sit" unassited for about 30-45 seconds. He is really good at it! He loves to play with toys, & everything goes in his mouth, it's really funny to watch! He can put the binky in & out too! He loves the solids & can finish a stage 2 size jar no problem! His favorites so far are sweet potatoes & chicken, apples & chicken & ham, pineapple & rice! Yumm! He is a pretty happy baby for the most part & as long as he is fed & paid attention to he is content! He LOVES to snuggle especially when he gets really tired! So cute!

I have been crazy busy... The other night I made something like 9 rags, 8 diap/wipes & 3 crayon rolls... & the next night it was 12 rags! I am anticipating more & more business since 2 of the sites I am featured on are going to do write ups about me this week... YES! Besides that I am sick, once again, but I can't tell if it's allergies or just lack of sleep causing a weakened immune system... It's not as bad as it has been & for that I am grateful!

Kevin has had to work the most awful schedule this past week & this week... They are night flying which means days goes in around 11 & gets off around 8ish & you guessed it, He goes in around 9ish & works til around 330-5AM! That means he sleeps til noon & with a toddler, I have been trying to be gone for that time frame! It is so awful because I feel like a single parent! I put them to bed each night &get up with them each morning! Brok has been really good though & for that I can't complain too bad! Though to top off the worst schedule ever, he also has weekend duty & today they are doing a flyover so he had to work! & not just a few hours, probably til at least 2. Which means I either brave taking them both to church, alone, or we don't get to go :( I still haven't decided if I am brave enough yet- Brok is a handful, especially during sacrament! I know there are plenty of people to help but I feel bad that they are either being interrupted by him or having to take him out! We shall see!

Anyway, that is our life the past few weeks, it seems I never have the time to update like usual... I will *TRY* to post more when we know about Brok's results!