Tuesday, March 10, 2009

This week in my life... sorry- it's long

Will live forever...

I am going to vent so please bear with me...

How does my day go everyday?
6-645am: feed Lukas for the umpteenth time, Brok wakes up screaming even though he went to bed at eleven pm
7am: get kids out of bed, drag my butt to get out of bed as well
715am: Lukas goes back to sleep, Try to keep Brok quiet so Kevin can sleep
730am: get ready for the day- 5min on me 35min getting bag & Kids ready to go- feed Lukas really fast
8am: Leave house to pick up Takara for school
815am: pick up Takara
830am: Drop off Takara- Listen to kids screaming because they want to be home
9am: figure out something to do for an hr before the playdate
915am: wander around Target or Michael's for an hr with screaming children, Feed Lukas while walking pushing the stroller with Brok- covered of course
10am: Playdate- Few minutes of solitude & peace until Lukas realizes he is tired & hungry & Brok gets mad because he can't go outside
NOON: Pack up, head home & hope that Kevin got enough sleep to function
1-130ishpm: Many days this is the therapy hour, with Brok screaming.
2pm: feed Lukas, try to squeeze in some work, put Brok down (if Kevin doesn't have plans to go do something) where he will scream once again because he doesn't want to sleep
3pm-4pm: usually once again, out & about with Kevin, trying to get in that "quality family time"
5-7pm: Eat, Brok naps-if we're lucky, Lukas eats, eats & eats some more, clean, possibly shower, maybe work
8pm: Kevin begins getting ready for work, Brok screams for an hr straight, wants to go to bed but I won't let him because he will be up at 5am
830-9pm: Kevin leaves for work, I start getting the boys ready for bed, feed Lukas, finally give up on Brok staying awake, put him screaming into his bed only to have him get out & get mad because he is locked in his room
10pm: feed Lukas, hang out with Brok hoping he will just crash on the floor
11pm: Brok is out, try to get some work done
1130pm: Feed Lukas & debate about going to bed yet
12am: finally get to sit & relax, maybe get more work done, maybe read
1230am: Feed Lukas
1am: get into bed
130am: fall asleep- if I am lucky
2am: feed Lukas
230am: sleep
3-5am: feed Lukas every 40min, go back to sleep
530am: get text from kevin saying he is off, or he climbs into bed
6am- starts all over again

I am mentally, physically & emotionally exhausted. I want to curl up in a ball & cry- I haven't had time to finish a project in one sitting in who knows how long... I don't even get to sleep in on the weekends because he has to keep some of the same hours so that his body isn't all messed up- that means that he stays up til 3am & yet I still have to get up in the mornings- I understand saturdays, fine because he works til 530am but seriously? He can go to bed at midnight & still get more sleep than I do on Saturday nights & still feel the same hours wise but he wont... & when I ask for help, he says he is tired... HA! I don't think he knows what tired is! He gets a straight at least 5hrs of sleep once we leave in the morning- but not like it matters, even if I did get to sleep in, he can't keep them quiet or doesn't seem to think it's fair so I never get to actually go back to sleep...

& the crappy part is that Kevin is on this schedule for another month at least! We get a short break for a week to go home but even then it's going to be an adjustment!
sorry for venting, I just had to get it out... It's so frustrating to me- not to mention that instead of him being able to have a shot to get off early once in a blue moon, due to the fact that he had a class the first 3wks of feb, & then the first week of night flying had another one day class, they are all so mean to him so he never gets off early- This week he is working the snack bar so that is a definate 530am quittin time... ARGH!

& another thing to make this even worse? They still don't have Brok's test results back- Part of them are back & are normal but we are still waiting on others... GRRRRRR

On a lighter note- I did get a new double jogger yesterday- we went to return a piece to our gate & I saw it out of box up there & asked, nothing wrong with it, just a return & they gave 10% off plus I had a coupon for $20 off a jogger so it came out to be $165.18 instead of $220! Plus, $30 we had in cash from returning the thing! It's awesome!

& Brok can now go up & down the stairs- alone, without falling- he has gotten so good at that! We had a yard sale on Saturday ($200+!) & so we just put up the dog food & water & left him inside, checking every so often. I checked on him once & he had climbed up so I just checked a few min later to be sure he wasn't by the gate & he was downstairs- I thought Kevin had brought him down & then I realized that Kevin was putting up signs! :) Good job buddy! I am so impressed with his progress- the sensory makes him a completely different kid! It's hard to believe that my baby will be 2yrs old in 13days! Where has the time gone! I love you Brok!

Lukas is doing so well at sitting up, he still needs support but he is getting to be so big! He is a major cuddler! He is also starting to want to bring his knees up- I know it's a good sign but I can't chase 2 kids around!!!

I also started to use cloth diapers this past week... I have a couple friends who LOVE them & I have always been afraid to try- I did some research & realized that the cloth diapers were not so scary! I use a brand called Gdiapers that have a flushable insert- they can also be tossed like a disposable but they biodegrade in 50-100days versus 500yrs... They have an outer cover with a plastic liner & then you just put the insert in & put them on! We use cloth inserts @ night & they are still not as bad! I have found a new love- Brok always got bad rashes, he hasn't since we started these! YAY!

Anwyay sorry for all the ranting, I hope that these next 4wks go fast!


Danette said...

Man, I sure hope thing sstart to perk up for you! That is rough! I know what you mean about the sleep thing...husbands sometimes just don't understand and they can be babies sometimes :) But that is why we are the mothers because for some reason I think we can handle things better. Hang in there!

TheStaheliFamily said...

Ash, I'm so sorry you're not getting any sleep. That sucks. I know you are just venting and not looking for any advice, but I feel too bad for you. It's super hard to do, but I would bet Lukas could go the night without eating, he's just wanting comfort. Give him a binky and let him cry it out for a couple nights. Maybe go in and pat him or cover him or give him his binky, but don't pick him up. It only takes a couple of nights until he'll start sleeping the night. I never had to do this because I was super lucky and Parker started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, so I know I'm doomed with my next one. But my sister in law did this with her's at around 5-6 months, and my parents also had to do it with my little sister. Sorry again for giving advice when I'm sure your just needing to vent. We all have weeks like that when we just need to vent to get it out and don't want to hear anyones annoying advice!! Good luck, and I hope the next four weeks are better for you.

Jessica said...

That is way WAY ROUGH! I am so sorry! I did the whole no sleep thing- no breaks with Cason cause Michael was working two jobs and Cason had colic. No Fun!!
Also- I have done the cry-it-out thing, and it worked... it only takes a couple of nights and ear plugs and showers help drown out the sound.. Just make sure you're giving enough feedings during the day so you don't have to worry about their nutrition (once they reach 11 lbs they can go 8 hrs without eating).
Good Luck no matter what you do. YOU DESERVE SOME SLEEP LADY!

Heath & Ege said...

Bless your heart girl!! I'm exhausted just reading your schedule!! Momma needs a break that's for sure!