Hello my name is Ashley & My child is autistic

Which comes as no surprise to anyone but now that we have a diagnosis, we can get so many more services! among those services is
~music therapy
~EFMP aka Exceptional Family Member Program aka an excuse to become last on the list for deployment.
~ABA therapy aka applied behavioral analysis therapy aka hard work
~long term care

Does it change our day to day life? nope... He's still the same Brok he was before we knew. I will still deal with him the same way as I always did. Does that make me super mom? HArdly. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out because he is driving me bonkers. Am I the most patient person with him? uh no- you should hear us. But I will forever love him & wonder why I was chosen to have this challenge in my life. Heavenly father must think very highly of me to have given me such a special little boy to love & care for. Life may not always be easy but we can do it together.

I always wonder what he will be like in 2-3 years. Will he ever talk? will he stop the screaming? will he ever potty train? I can hope right? I mean we never thought he would walk either right? & now he is running! It just took him an extra year & a half to figure it out.

& then I think of what he will be like as a teenager. Will I have to remind him to shave? Will I have to remind him to do his homework? Ok that sounds like a normal teenage boy. but really, what will he be like?

will his brother & everyone else love him the way we do? Will he have friends? Will he do well in school? Will he get to enjoy the normal things every teenage boy does? crushes on girls? dances, sports? Will he ever win a trophy or participate on a team? Will he look forward to going on a mission? Will he be able to go?

& most importantly, is there someone out there who when the timing is right will love him & be patient enough with him that they can fall in love & get married? I know he's only 2.5 but these are things a mom wonders about ya know?

Brok you are such a special child in our home. You make our lives interesting to say the least! Would life have been different & harder if you had come into our lives second instead of first? Because we will continue to do what we have always done because we haen't known any different!

I love you son! Even though sometimes you drive us nuts, we will always love you! Thanks for having the faith in us to be your parents!

Love mom

Lukas Is 1!

Ok I am a few days late but we were gone! Plus I now have stats!

I can't believe this year is already gone! Where did the time go my little? You are the cutest little kid ever (besides bubba you are tied with him)! I am completely in love with you all the time! You can make us laugh & smile at the smallest things!!!

Stats:
~29.5 in 33%
~18lbs 14oz 4%
~don't remember exact # but head is 73%

The nurses at the doctor said they are going to call you lollipop!

Things you can do:
~crawl like a pro
~go up the stairs all by yourself (& give mom a heart attack everytime)
~cruise along furniture
~stand up alone with no help for a long time
~clap when someone says Yay or Good Job
~put your hands on your head when someone says Oh No!
~say mama dada bubba nana nini (granny)
~copy when we try to say something
~drink from a regular cup (almost without spilling)
~drink from a sippy cup with a straw
~push a walking toy without falling
~ride your little trike thing backwards
~make "vroom" noises

Things you like:
~your binky- can't go anywhere without it & it's oh so cute!
~your green blanket- you know which is yours & which isn't!
~to jump like crazy!
~4-wheeling! You loved it on your birthday!
~food! Any & all food- & lots of it! I am always amazed at how much you can eat
~your mommy- when you want to eat or just need a snuggle
~your daddy- any other time
~bubba (aka Brok) I love how you guys play together!
~puppies! you love your dogs & love to bother them!
~life-

Little you are the happiest baby I have ever met- I loved you the minute I saw you & I can't believe how big you are already?! You are my little & you make me so happy! I hope that you had a great birthday & I can't wait to see what this year holds!

Age 1 month
Age 1 yr

Busy Busy Busy

That about sums up our life! I feel as though I am constantly on the go... Life certainly doesn't slow down for sure...

~Lukas is practicing his balance- he is so scrawny on the bottom half that he can't support his top half! But he's getting better at letting go to stand alone! Cruises on everything & HAS to be on top of me all the time no matter what I am doing!
~Brok went down to once a month PT! This is awesome considering that he has had once a week for the past year! He is doing so well & has learned to use is voice- no words but he "yodels" & it cracks me up! He has also outgrown naps- he goes to bed around 545 & sleeps til about 7. It's awesome! He's pretty content to entertain himself during the day so I guess I am lucky that way!
~Night flying this week=BOOO! I hate night flying- he works @ 8pm all week- I guess the only good thing is we will miss the next 2 wks & when we get back, it will be over...
~VACATION!!! We will be in St George on Saturday! WHOOT! I am sooo excited! If anyone wants to hang out, you have my # or can find my email!
~I can't believe that my baby is going to be 1! Where has this year gone? I swear he was just a newborn... He is growing so fast & is a crack up! He says: mama (his favorite word), dada, bubba (brok), pup, buh-bye (& he waves too!) & he has this cutest little thing he does when he wants more- he pulls his fingers in like he's saying Gimme- cracks me up! ♥ this little dude!
~I got a new car! Oh yes- we sold our Santa Fe for way more than we could have gotten from a trade & bought us a 2005 Dodge Durango. I am in ♥! It is awesome! I can definately say it is my perfect car! The only thing missing is a DVD system but that can be purchased later! It has leather, 3rd row, rear A/C (a must here), tint, 6 cd- premium sound... Awe... love...
~our 4 year anniversary is right around the corner- Does anyone else ever feel like time flies? I am getting old!
~Temps are FINALLY going down- today was like the first day in who knows how long that it was under 100 (ok it was 99 but still). I can't wait for fall...

& I think that is pretty much it from us this week! Enjoy Lukas's modeling skills! He got to model these super cute knitted longies for our online store! YUM! he is such a ham!

What a bad Blogger!

I just realized it's been a month- almost- since my last post! GEEZ! I have an excuse... Not only do I run a business but I have been chasing 2 kids!

That's right! Lukas is almost 100% a "toddler" he is cruising on everything, crawls like a pro when he can't cruise & is copying his brother. Let me tell you I don't know what I got myself into! I can't adjust my brain to think that this is normal, that he is doing great & is right on track! He also recently decided that he can climb stairs- EEK! I left him & Brok downstairs for under a minute to grab something & when I got to the stairs, he was halfway up! It scares me because he is so tiny still but he loves it! I think Brok was sent to me because I needed time to prepare for the whole walking/climbing thing!

Which he is so good at now! We walk everywhere, all the time & are into everything so much more! He is in a tearing phase, EVERYTHING gets torn. Which is fine unless it's something important. But Brok is doing GREAT! He is pretty much on track with most things except for talking & he still doesn't jump, but that's ok because he is still a beginning walker! I am just happy that he is walking! We are able to do so much more now! Like today, we went with our playgroup to Pump It Up which is a bounce house type place. There was a boxing ring
a basketball court

a giant slide

& an obstacle course that the kids could play on. I left Lukas home with dad & Had tons of fun with Brok! He had a blast! I was tired afterward because I had to climb up to the top of the slide holding him (all 30+lbs) but it was so worth it!

Anyway, They are both growing so fast! I can't even believe it! It's hard to think that Lukas is almost 11months old! Each day he changes! He has the personality of a nut! He has learned to copy what we say & is learning how to sign more & milk. He is awesome! Brok is such a great brother, he loves to play with him & they feed off each other- sometimes good, sometimes bad!

Kevin is working swing shift still, it's actually been really good for us, he works early afternoon to late night & so it leaves me plenty of time in the morning for errands, or evening to work. Business is good for me, I love it & I stay totally busy all the time, my customs list is full each round & I keep return customers! We are talking about putting in to be a recruiter which would bring us closer to home, which would be nice. He sews on his next rank the beginning of November & we are looking forward to that!

We are so excited to be able to come for a visit in about 3wks! We will be in Leeds/St George area Sept 19-26th & Vegas Sept 27-Oct 2nd or so. I am excited to see everyone & especially meet my cousin who is the same age as Lukas! It will be fun to have their cute little birthday party!

Here are a few pictures of Lukas's latest adventure- it was fun!
That's all from the Beals for now- I will try to be more on top of this!

I am grateful

I am grateful today... I dont' know why today or what made me feel so grateful today because it hasn't been the best day really but I am grateful!

I am grateful that I get to stay home with my kids but that I get to be my own boss & have this fun business on the side! I am grateful EVERYDAY for this business. It has done SOOOOO much better than what I had dreamed! I just finished my first wholesale order (I am grateful for Sharni for that one!) & continue to have great success!

I am grateful for my kids, who constantly make me laugh. I am grateful for Lukas & his sweet little scruchy face! I am grateful for him being "normal" & easy going so that I can deal with Brok! I am grateful for the bond that we have even though sometimes I wish I had more free time to myself instead of you wanting to be held! I am grateful for the fact that you LOVE your brother! What great friends you will be! I am grateful for your little skinny chicken legs! I love you little! I am grateful for Brok- who never ever gives up! You have taught me way too much in the past 2 years! Wow... I am grateful for your special little spirit that you bring! I am so grateful that you are walking. Oh boy am I! & you are doing sooooo good! Recently we have started walking into/out of & around stores. It's awesome! I am so grateful that you are starting to copy us!!! YAY! I love you toad!

I am grateful for Kevin! I love how stupid we can be at night when we are both so tired that everything is funny! I am grateful for your hugs. I am grateful for your support & help with the boys while I work in my "cave". I am grateful that you spend 9hrs a day working at a job that maybe isnt what you dreamed of so tha we have the security of a paycheck! I love you Babe.

Life is good. I am just grateful! What a great great life I have!

The nerve of some people

This is going to be a vent of sorts- it's on my mind & I really have no where else to tell about it... I know it's something I need to get used to but really?

We were at the commissary today, Brok, Lukas & I- with our friends Tab & Bray- but they were further back in line. Brok's in the back of the cart happily playing making noise- very loudly- he does his little shrill laugh/scream/noise thing when he mad or happy because he doesnt know how to regulate just a little bit. I hear this lady behind me at the next register say "Some people need to learn some respect for others" So I turn right around & say Back to her (I know I just added fuel to her fire but really-) "He has autism (not sure yet but probably in some form) he doesn't know any better or how to control it" So she retorts back with something like "Needs to learn respect for others, this is disrespectful" So I tell her again "He has autism, he doesn't know any better" She says "So take him outside, it's disrespectful to others in the building" (mind you he isn't doing his mad scream, just a happy LOUD noise) "I turned right back around & said "What am I supposed to do? I am alone & I am in the middle of checking out? I am supposed to take him out now? RIght" To which she says "I have kids & I just take them outside" I said back (& I am sure you can gather the tone of my voice right now) "HE HAS AUTISM. HE CAN'T HELP IT. DO I NEED TO WEAR A LABEL THAT SAYS MY KID HAS A DISABILITY?" She just keeps repeating that she has kids & takes them out & how disrespectful it is that he is being so loud. So I turn around one more time & say "You need to learn some respect for kids with disabilities. He has autism, he doesn't understand"

Seriously could people be any more rude? Do you really know what my life is like? Do you know what my child does ALL day EVERYDAY? No because you had yourself a little normal child that understood when it was time to be quiet, or understands a smack on the mouth or gets it when you say "Be quiet" If you are so sure you would handle things differently, please take him home with you, do my job for a day & see what it's like. See how he sits there & screams while I am typing this for no reason other than he wants to scream. & I don't mean throw a fit scream, I mean scream bloody murder like someone is killing you.

Fast Forward to a few hours later. We go out with our friends to get their windows tinted & we decided to hang out at the pizza place in the shopping center. There were a total of maybe 5 people who came in & out while we were there & no one seemed to mind that brok was on the floor crawling & walking around. UNTIL... This lady walks in, sees Brok & the first thing she says is "Oh, HI" in the most disgusted & rude tone ever. She was in the restaurant with us for maybe 2min & the WHOLE time all she could say was "That poor child, look how filthy he is. Oh that mother, what is she thinking" Seriously- do you think my child would be wearing CLEAN clothes & that my other child would look so well put together but still be so filthy? I mean really? If you paid an ounce of attention to him, you would realize that it was from crawling on the floor- the backs of his legs were spotless & so was his arms.

Some people are so ignorant & I just don't know why. My mom says it was just his day today & that I need to pray that they will be enlightened to the reality of the world we live in, that not every child fits the mold of what they think "perfect" is. Or that they will remember the words of Thumper from Bambi "If ya can't say sumthin nice, don't say nothin at all"

It must have just been one of those things that I needed to go through but even still as I sit here typing this out, I am so furious that someone could be so rude. Didn't their moms teach them manners? I mean I get if you are going ot talk about my kid, yeah he can be annoying but don't say it where A) I can hear it & B) while I am standing there...

That's all- sorry to unleash my fury on you... Jsut one of those days...

My favorite Diaper

Ok I have to give a shout out to my favorite diapers ever!

Did you know that the average disposable diaper stays in a landfill for 500years?

Gdiapers are a great alternative to disposables & cloth- they are a super cute cover found in a variety of colors, with a snap in nylon liner & have the option to use a cloth insert or a flushable insert- which can also be just tossed- without the guilt of leaving it for 500 years! These inserts are comparable in price to disposables & are great if you aren't sure you want to do cloth but are tired of the leaks from disposables, the perfumes & the chemicals!

I have a great promotion going on right now- They have this great everyday pack of 6 covers- 3 vanilla & 3 orange that is offered for $70- which is still a great price- but I have a code that will take $30 off! That means you get 6 covers for $40! That is less than $7/cover! These are great for everyday use, or to test if you will like them! That great code is

g745Beal

I can also offer anyone who emails me letting me know they used my code, a $2 off coupon- you can take these to your local Babies R Us & get $2 off any product- There is a limited amount available so the first 10 to email will recieve them!

I Absolutely LOVE my gdiapers- they are seriously the best thing ever! So versatile & what a great way to start being more greeen!

Another milestone!

We have taken steps- WHOOT! Knowingly too- not just the usual walking along the couch & forget to hold on, not the pretend I don't know how kind. Actual, factual recordable steps!!! He took some on monday- I was talking to my mom on the phone& he walked from the end of the sliding glass door watching me, to the edge of the couch- could I get him to do it again? no...

But today- Kevin was sitting on the loveseat & telling me about work last night & all the sudden he paused- goes " Ashley Look-" to which I turn from the computer to see him walking in a waddle type walk not holding on to anything- like you or I would walk around something. a total of probably 15-20 steps!

So we decided to try to get him to do it more- success! Doritos were key but he would take anywhere from 3-10 steps to get the dorito! & then while I was visiting a friend, he did it in her hall! & in the 3ft from her coffee table to her couch!

I am trying not to get too anxious or excited but there is a BIG chance he will be walking in the next week!!!! EEK!!! I am sooooo excited! What a fun thing! He is much preferring to walk over crawl & I noticed it last week at our playdate. He will stand up at the hall & walk along the wall down the hall, he will automatically stand up at the couch to walk instead of crawl around. I am sooo proud! After all this, I wonder if he is just stubborn! I honestly wonder if he's just slow in that he gets content & stuck in a rut & likes he life how it is! What a fun day in our family!

Good job bud!

Pictures to go with the previous post!

Our little garden on the counter!

The back of my car with my new vinyl!

Brok's fat lip- this is the only pic we have

Lou drinking his cup- which he is so good at! But only for water or juice!

The lovely power steering leak on the road from my 45min of Visiting Teaching last week. Yeah- not good at all! Last night when we dropped off the car, I filled it to the max & then all I did was drive to the dealership- a 15min drive & when I got to the dealership, it was below the min!

Wow I am so bad at this!

I used to be so good but now I feel like there is just not enough time in the day to get it all done!

I will post pictures soon...

• Lukas is now a major mover/shaker- he has been known to "crawl" down the hall to follow brother

• Brok & Lukas are more interactive with each other- Lukas will follow him, he will follow Lou- it's so cute to see them! Just today I was finishing up a sewing project & Lou had made his way into the front room & started screaming so I told Brok go find Brother & so he did & when he got to the front room- Lou had stopped crying! They are becoming such good friends!



• Brok is learning to communicate with us better (or maybe I just understand him more). Like when he wants more of anything he claps & claps & claps... or if he wants something he comes over to the gate by the computer & grabs my arm. If he needs a diaper change he grabs under his crotch & makes a noise so I see him.



• Kevin moves to a new location & gets new people/loses people from his AMU Monday. Not really sure why but he will be on the same schedule & hopefully it is a good thing



• I opened a new online store (or 3 coming up) where I now have "in-stock" items & am going to be featured on several large popular sites- This business is taking off & I love it!



• Kevin was weedeating the yard Monday & hit a rock & it hit the sliding glass door & it shattered it... well the outside pane... crappy- $279 to replace...



• The car has a leaky power steering pressure hose. & some failing switch or something... gunna be $375 to replace- covered under warranty so we only pay $100 but add that to the rest of what we have paid... UGH I don't want to think about it...



• Brok is expressing a desire to want to walk but won't do it...



• We planted a few seeds last weekend... Beans, watermelon, tomatoes, artichoke & carrots- the beans sprouted on day 1 & are now over 12" tall... all have srouted at least one plant...



• I finally put my vinyl letters on my car... wow...



• Last weekend we went to eat pizza with Heather & Kevin Baker & as we were getting ready to leave, Brok crawled right in front of me as I was turning around & hit my knee- he face planted onto the tile & got a fat fat lip... now he has learned to lick his lips!

Well that about covers the last 2 weeks... Life is crazy- I don't know what to do anymore! Both my kids are mobile, my house is semi-clean, & my business is thriving... Life is happy...

Weight Stats

Went to WIC today:

Brok is 28lbs 12oz, 36 in which means 63rd percentile for weight, 89th percentile for height
Lukas is 14lbs 14oz & 26in which meand 3rd percentile for weight, 50th percentile for height

Which means that in total not including carseat, diaper bag or the occasional grocery load, I carry with me 43lbs 10oz of PURE baby. Wow... where is all that muscle? I still feel like a weakling...

I am going to have some very tall kids! Poor Lukas is going to have a problem if the doc tries to tell me to feed him formula! I tried- he doesn't like it!

On another note- I put Brok to bed last night, diaper on, shorts on. Kevin got Brok up this morning, diaperless, shortsless & dry... diaper was dry & so far, no pee on the floor that we have found- does this mean we can potty train?

Has it really been almost a month?

Wow... I really need to be better at this...

This month in highlight:

• Brok took 2 steps by himself, none intentionally since then
• Brok can't have any fruit juice :(
• Lukas is a pro roller-over-er
• Brok has a new bedtime of 730-8pm- MARVELOUS
• Both boys wake up at 6am- every morning, on the dot, no matter what
• I celebrated 1 year in business (& am doing another fun giveaway! check it out!)
• Heather & I get together most weeks at least once a week
• I moved my sewing stuff to the downstairs room
• Kevin found out his AMU is moving down the flight line & that he is staying in it while other friends are switching to new ones.
• Lukas turned 7mo & is trying to crawl
• Brok has discovered he loves Bananas & Honey nut Cheerios & frozen burritos
• We got Harley, another min pin
• We are now on speech therapist #2 & DSI #2 for Brok (2nd times a charm?)

Pretty much this month has just been busy... Nothing exciting but a lot of busy-ness...

We have had to cut out all juice from Brok. He got an extremely bad rash that wouldn't go away so we decided to cut out the first thing that has always caused the rash... Well unfortunately it went away & hasn't come back so he can't have any more juice. He has also been switched to soy milk becuase of the same reason :( Also, his EI & speech therapists weren't workng out with us so we are once again starting over there! We just have bad luck with the first round! Brok is such a goof- he makes us laugh all the time! His new favorite thing is see thorugh stuff- he has learned that he can see thorugh anything that is relatively clear & we see him knee walking around with a plate on his face! Boy do we love him! Yesterday I came down the stairs & he had found some gum I had bought a week ago & was chewing a huge wad! Like he knew what gum was! What a nut!

Lukas is such an easy going baby... He is happy to be on the floor & play, he is happy to go down when it's nap time... Just very mellow. He has seemed to grow up this month, he looks more like a little boy vs a baby... Which is ok- he is still babyish to me! He is still extremely tiny, especially around his waist but this child can move! He has learned to scoot himself (almost army crawl but not quite) to get what he wants or to roll to get to it. He is pushing up on his hands & toes (like a pushup) & has realized he can fling his body forward that way. He has also learned to feed himself Cheerios- Brok & he will sit on the floor together & eat them. Cute! He has this new game he likes to play where he will push his body up as high as he can while in bed & peek-a-booing over the rail. It's so cute! This child has won my heart! I can't get enough!

I am busy as ever... just trying to get everything ready for my new stores opening on Hyena Cart (Simply Serendipity & Breath of Fresh Air Congos). Instead of doing strictly customs, I will now have a stock of items on hand... IT shoud be fun...

Besides that, there isn't much to mention... Harley is such a fun dog- he is so good! We love him!

Update again & another giveaway!

Ok- I know 3 posts in 2 days! Wow! Read the other posts!

so here's the stats:
Lukas-6mo on April 3rd so today is 6mo & 12days
weighs in at 14lb, 14oz (& he even nursed & had a jar of food prior to going!)- in the 10th%
is 26in long 50%
his head is 17.9cm circumference- which is actually rather large 50-75%

This man is skinny! & my doctor is insane- he told me to feed him steak, eggs, cheese... all the things that I have forever been told not to feed a baby under age 1- so I won't because I googled it & even though steak would be fine if cut up teeny tiny- egg whites are not & yolks are not until age 8-9mo. & cheese is not good in large quantities... Anyway

And for the giveaway- check it out- not my things but I am hosting it! www.babybugcreationsllc.com- very cute items from extrememly talented mamas!

Easter

We are alive!

It has been a CRAZY CRAZY few weeks!

We have done sooo much!

Lukas:

• Blessing
• saying mama
• drinking juice
• Eating pizza & cake for the first time
• having a half birthday
• outgrowing his 0-3mo clothes (about time!)
• had his 1st Easter

Brok:

• turned 2
• learned to sign "more, cracker, cookie, please" and throw his cup at me to get more milk
• learned to walk with a walker toy
• took 2 steps alone
• had 3 birthday parties
• Had Easter

Kevin:

• had a week off
• visited his family
• started working back to a somewhat decent schedule (2-10)
• got to sit in the back of a super old plane
• enjoyed his family
• forgot to lock the doors on his car
• got his stereo stolen

Ashley:

• took a week vacation with 2 kids under 2 (ok kevin was there)
• sister came to stay for a week
• family came to stay for 3 days, ended up staying for 5
• uses cloth diapers on her kids
• finished stocking her stash for the diapers
• started & finished over 20 orders in a week
• Got to see all her old work friends
• feels like she has no time!

Basically it was a very good passed month & even though we have been CRAZY busy, I wouldn't have traded it for the world!

Brok is progressing so well... He now has all the building blocks to walk, it's a matter of doing it... He will walk with a toy- We had worked on in in therapy but she had to hold onto it so when I was working with him I tried to get him to do it but he just took off! I remember thinking he is going to face plant but he did so well & does it all the time downstairs! Now we're trying to wean him off that & to walking alone.

Lukas can now say mama & it is his favorite thing to do. He also fit into the same blessing outfit that Brok wore when he was 2wks old & I think that he actually almost fit it better! He is still our tiny dude! We have his 6mo on Wed.

Kevin is just working away while I hang out at home... Which I rarely do! I feel like I am constantly on the go! I pick up & take an 11yr old girl from school and so I leave at 830am & get home around 9, then pickher up at 230 on mondays & 330 T-Fri. It keeps me on my toes!

Enjoy this slide show of all we have done!

Lukas's blessing

Sunday March 29. 2009
2:30 pm
Leeds LDS chapel Relief Society Room

Come if you want! We'd love to have you!

PLEASE READ the other post!

The past 2 yrs- I Love you Brok

Where have they gone? I could swear I was just pregnant with you! I was wondering what you would look like, who you would be like & how I could love someone so much!

& then you were here & my life has never been the same! You were sent to me to teach me patience & how to love. I don't know what I would do without you! The past year has been something to remember!

You are my special kid- You make me laugh & cry & want to pull my hair out! But overall I just have an overwhelming feeling of love... You teach me something new everday! You are my hero- when you fall, you don't give up- you get back up & keep movin... I am so proud of all you have accomplished... From last year when Dr Harsha told us you had autism, to now where we know you have sensory integration disorder so much has changed! You couldn't even hardly sit up! Now you are crawling around like a mad man & cruising around all the furniture! you are sooo close to walking! You couldn't hold your bottle, let alone drink out of a cup! Now you are a pro! You can use a cup with a straw, & can even sometimes with help drink from the dixie cups during nursery!

you Couldn't talk, now you can say mom & can sign more, please & eat! You LOVE to read your pink ant book & to swing!

Brok, I love you! I love how your eyes light up when your dad walks into the room & even more how even though you are a daddy's boy, you still will always love your mom, I love how you cock your head to the side to look at us when we pick you up, I love how you can fall asleep on the floor- anywhere, anytime- even in the pizza place! I Love how you are content to play with silverware or wires! I love how you can laugh & cry in the same breath! I love how you steam roll or plow over your brother & how much he adores you! You are so special to me & I want you to always remember that!

Happy birthday bug! you are my baby & I can't believe that it has been 2 yrs since you came into my world & left your mark! You have taught me so much about myself & about life & I am so grateful that you chose me to be your mommy! I love you Brok Grant Beal!

2 year stats:

28lbs 3oz

36in

• crawled at 16mo
• cruised for the first time at 17mo
• Became a big brother at 18mo & 3wks
• climbed stairs for the first time at 19.5mo
• climbed onto the couch first time at 22mo
• climbed down the stairs first time at 23mo
• opened the toilet for the first time :) at 23mo

ps- this is a day late but we are visiting Granny & Grandpa so I couldn't use the computer!

This week in my life... sorry- it's long

Will live forever...

I am going to vent so please bear with me...

How does my day go everyday?

6-645am: feed Lukas for the umpteenth time, Brok wakes up screaming even though he went to bed at eleven pm

7am: get kids out of bed, drag my butt to get out of bed as well

715am: Lukas goes back to sleep, Try to keep Brok quiet so Kevin can sleep

730am: get ready for the day- 5min on me 35min getting bag & Kids ready to go- feed Lukas really fast

8am: Leave house to pick up Takara for school

815am: pick up Takara

830am: Drop off Takara- Listen to kids screaming because they want to be home

9am: figure out something to do for an hr before the playdate

915am: wander around Target or Michael's for an hr with screaming children, Feed Lukas while walking pushing the stroller with Brok- covered of course

10am: Playdate- Few minutes of solitude & peace until Lukas realizes he is tired & hungry & Brok gets mad because he can't go outside

NOON: Pack up, head home & hope that Kevin got enough sleep to function

1-130ishpm: Many days this is the therapy hour, with Brok screaming.

2pm: feed Lukas, try to squeeze in some work, put Brok down (if Kevin doesn't have plans to go do something) where he will scream once again because he doesn't want to sleep

3pm-4pm: usually once again, out & about with Kevin, trying to get in that "quality family time"

5-7pm: Eat, Brok naps-if we're lucky, Lukas eats, eats & eats some more, clean, possibly shower, maybe work

8pm: Kevin begins getting ready for work, Brok screams for an hr straight, wants to go to bed but I won't let him because he will be up at 5am

830-9pm: Kevin leaves for work, I start getting the boys ready for bed, feed Lukas, finally give up on Brok staying awake, put him screaming into his bed only to have him get out & get mad because he is locked in his room

10pm: feed Lukas, hang out with Brok hoping he will just crash on the floor

11pm: Brok is out, try to get some work done

1130pm: Feed Lukas & debate about going to bed yet

12am: finally get to sit & relax, maybe get more work done, maybe read

1230am: Feed Lukas

1am: get into bed

130am: fall asleep- if I am lucky

2am: feed Lukas

230am: sleep

3-5am: feed Lukas every 40min, go back to sleep

530am: get text from kevin saying he is off, or he climbs into bed

6am- starts all over again

I am mentally, physically & emotionally exhausted. I want to curl up in a ball & cry- I haven't had time to finish a project in one sitting in who knows how long... I don't even get to sleep in on the weekends because he has to keep some of the same hours so that his body isn't all messed up- that means that he stays up til 3am & yet I still have to get up in the mornings- I understand saturdays, fine because he works til 530am but seriously? He can go to bed at midnight & still get more sleep than I do on Saturday nights & still feel the same hours wise but he wont... & when I ask for help, he says he is tired... HA! I don't think he knows what tired is! He gets a straight at least 5hrs of sleep once we leave in the morning- but not like it matters, even if I did get to sleep in, he can't keep them quiet or doesn't seem to think it's fair so I never get to actually go back to sleep...

& the crappy part is that Kevin is on this schedule for another month at least! We get a short break for a week to go home but even then it's going to be an adjustment!

sorry for venting, I just had to get it out... It's so frustrating to me- not to mention that instead of him being able to have a shot to get off early once in a blue moon, due to the fact that he had a class the first 3wks of feb, & then the first week of night flying had another one day class, they are all so mean to him so he never gets off early- This week he is working the snack bar so that is a definate 530am quittin time... ARGH!

& another thing to make this even worse? They still don't have Brok's test results back- Part of them are back & are normal but we are still waiting on others... GRRRRRR

On a lighter note- I did get a new double jogger yesterday- we went to return a piece to our gate & I saw it out of box up there & asked, nothing wrong with it, just a return & they gave 10% off plus I had a coupon for $20 off a jogger so it came out to be $165.18 instead of $220! Plus, $30 we had in cash from returning the thing! It's awesome!

& Brok can now go up & down the stairs- alone, without falling- he has gotten so good at that! We had a yard sale on Saturday ($200+!) & so we just put up the dog food & water & left him inside, checking every so often. I checked on him once & he had climbed up so I just checked a few min later to be sure he wasn't by the gate & he was downstairs- I thought Kevin had brought him down & then I realized that Kevin was putting up signs! :) Good job buddy! I am so impressed with his progress- the sensory makes him a completely different kid! It's hard to believe that my baby will be 2yrs old in 13days! Where has the time gone! I love you Brok!

Lukas is doing so well at sitting up, he still needs support but he is getting to be so big! He is a major cuddler! He is also starting to want to bring his knees up- I know it's a good sign but I can't chase 2 kids around!!!

I also started to use cloth diapers this past week... I have a couple friends who LOVE them & I have always been afraid to try- I did some research & realized that the cloth diapers were not so scary! I use a brand called Gdiapers that have a flushable insert- they can also be tossed like a disposable but they biodegrade in 50-100days versus 500yrs... They have an outer cover with a plastic liner & then you just put the insert in & put them on! We use cloth inserts @ night & they are still not as bad! I have found a new love- Brok always got bad rashes, he hasn't since we started these! YAY!

Anwyay sorry for all the ranting, I hope that these next 4wks go fast!

GiveAway

I just posted so PLEASE read that one too but I am hosting a give away on my site & want all my mommy & blogger friends to participate! Check it out & maybe one of you can win!


http://www.babybugcreationsllc.com/

I am also featured in a giveaway on www.thelittlewindowshoppe.com

Chaos is the story of my life!

What a few weeks it has been! I swear I dont know where the time goes!

All about Brok's appt:

Absolutely nothing! We had to drive 30+min to make it there during the worst time of the day & then we waited for 20min to get called into the room & another 30+min to see the doc! Then when the doc came in it didn't get much better... It was a resident doc who is the developmental pediatrician, he asked all the medical histories, etc & did all that stuff, he kept saying it wasn't Mental Retardation (ok soooo obvious) but never said yay or nay for autism. He kept saying that it was a blanket term for if they cant find something else wrong. So then he leaves and another 15+ min ago by, still trapped in this tiny room, & he returns with the pediatric neurologist who goes through all this schpiel about how they don't like to use the term autism & how Brok may or may not have it blah blah blah- still nothing to jump about, no diagnosis, no hope, NOTHING! Then he starts saying well we're going to test for chromosome abnormalities to see if there is something there & then if it comes back as nothing, we'll do some more invasive ones & oh yeah, he's going to need to have his hearing tested & oh yeah, he needs to have another pyschoeval through DDD. Anyway so still no answer, they took lots of blood from him & we get those results back on Wed. I guess we'll see what they say... I can't say I am relieved or disappointed... it seems like a big circle of never-ending nothingness...

As for the rest of the time, we have been doing really well with the sensory, we found the coolest swing at ikea that is perfect for him, it's a pouch but has an inflatable pillow thing so he still sits up & we hung it in the baby's room (since he still sleeps in our room). Brok LOVES it! & i see it making a difference! If he gets really fussy, I swing him & he calms, even if it's just a few minutes of swinging, it makes a huge difference! He is more receptive to learning because he has that input. He doesn't get upset near as much & is learning more & more! We also decided to take off the side of his bed- he is now a big boy- because he would scream so early to get him out but now he just gets out on his own & plays, gives us another 15-30min of sleep at least! YES! This is how we found him the first night, sometimes we still find him like this! I put his crib bumpers on the floor next to the bed anticipating a fall! Now we have a giant stuffed dog that he sleeps on if he falls out! & yes, naked kid, it's soooo hot here lately! He also discovered that he likes thin mints, I thought they were safe on the ledge but he climbed on the couch & got a hold of them!

Lukas is now also in the crib, in our room, next to the bed, with the side off... He wasn't sleeping well in the pack & play (not that he does much better in this) so I decided to make the change- he does better, sleeps for a long chunk when he first goes down but he eats all night! He is still a little skinny kid, the size 2 huggies overlap halfway around him- but we love him! He is learning so much! He can now roll back to stomach & a few times has gone all the way back to his stomach! He can also "sit" unassited for about 30-45 seconds. He is really good at it! He loves to play with toys, & everything goes in his mouth, it's really funny to watch! He can put the binky in & out too! He loves the solids & can finish a stage 2 size jar no problem! His favorites so far are sweet potatoes & chicken, apples & chicken & ham, pineapple & rice! Yumm! He is a pretty happy baby for the most part & as long as he is fed & paid attention to he is content! He LOVES to snuggle especially when he gets really tired! So cute!

I have been crazy busy... The other night I made something like 9 rags, 8 diap/wipes & 3 crayon rolls... & the next night it was 12 rags! I am anticipating more & more business since 2 of the sites I am featured on are going to do write ups about me this week... YES! Besides that I am sick, once again, but I can't tell if it's allergies or just lack of sleep causing a weakened immune system... It's not as bad as it has been & for that I am grateful!

Kevin has had to work the most awful schedule this past week & this week... They are night flying which means days goes in around 11 & gets off around 8ish & you guessed it, He goes in around 9ish & works til around 330-5AM! That means he sleeps til noon & with a toddler, I have been trying to be gone for that time frame! It is so awful because I feel like a single parent! I put them to bed each night &get up with them each morning! Brok has been really good though & for that I can't complain too bad! Though to top off the worst schedule ever, he also has weekend duty & today they are doing a flyover so he had to work! & not just a few hours, probably til at least 2. Which means I either brave taking them both to church, alone, or we don't get to go :( I still haven't decided if I am brave enough yet- Brok is a handful, especially during sacrament! I know there are plenty of people to help but I feel bad that they are either being interrupted by him or having to take him out! We shall see!

Anyway, that is our life the past few weeks, it seems I never have the time to update like usual... I will *TRY* to post more when we know about Brok's results!

another 2 weeks have come & gone

What have we been up to?

Well- Lukas had his 4mo appt with the doctor- He weighed in at 12lbs 14oz & is 24in long. He is still soooo little but growing consistently. He Loves the baby food- the only thing we have found so far he doesn't like is the peas- but who does right? He is such a doll & I am so glad I get to spend all my time with him! He has learned to roll over (in this picture I started him laying longways in the bed onhis back) and will spend tons of time on his stomach holding his head up- he loves to watch anything & everything! He also LOVES his seahorse toy- I found him like this the other day when I put him down for a nap!

Brok is continuing to do well with his therapies & progress- he has stood several times alone for a few seconds & the other day we caught him standing for about 30seconds. I know it's not much for anyone else but to us it's impressive! One day he will just take off! He has an appointment with the developmental pediatrician this week to see if in fact he has any issue other than the sensory integration disorder. We have a feeling it's going to be autism even if it is a bit mild. He is learning some pretty tricky things lately, climbing on the couch, using items to climb- ie his sing &go choo-choo or the baby car seat to get onto the coffee table, & has found that he likes having boundaries- we finally gated off the section of the loft I use as my craft area/office & it has been so nice! He is growing so fast! I was watching a video from when he was first given to me & it made me so sad he is getting so big! He had his first valentine exchange at our mommy group & it was so fun & cute! I love my little bug! He decided the other day he wanted to be a baby again so here he is sitting in the baby seat.

I have been swamped with orders- I was featured in a giveaway on leelou blogs & I have been going CRAZY trying to keep up with it all- of course it is wonderful & my business is growing so well! I am so stoked! One of my best sellers is the Birthday outfits- this one is my favorite! She called me friday & needed it saturday- luckily they don't take long! It is so fun! I love what I do & find it so rewarding! I have also started taking & picking up a girl to/from school & it has helped so much! It makes me get up & get going! WE also hosted a playgrounp at our house last week & had so much fun!

Kevin has had class for the past few weeks & it has been wonderful! He leaves around the same time I do in the mornings & is home by around 1 or 2 so we are able to have nights together- it will be an adjustment to have him back on the night shift! He also got rid of our orange buggy we have had sitting forever- a guy wanted to trade his 1993 Honda Accord for something & we gave him the buggy & some $$$ for it. Now Kevin drives that or the motorcycle everyday so I have a car! YES! We are also trying to sell our 2003 Hyundai Santa Fe if you know anyone- it's basically a brand new car!

We got our taxes back last week & bought a new mattress! We had been sleeping on one we bought with a set of couches for $45 when we first moved here last year & it needed to be replaced! there were serious indentions where we laid & I felt every movement! The new one is latex & I can't feel anything! It is wonderful! Here is a picture of it onthe frame to give an idea of how big it is! We ended up taking off the frame because it was too high! We also found a great deal on craigslist for a TV/DVD/Surround sound combo- $400 for a 32" LG flat panel LCD tv & a new surround sound system- AWESOME! We are putting the rest into savings!

That is all for this week- I will post again after we go to the doctor this week!

I Love Giveaways!

Ok guys- so I have to say that I am so excited! Leelou BLogs is hosting an online baby shower- she is about to have a baby anyday- & One of my products is included! I am so stoked that she included my item! If you want a chance to win some freaking amazing things- not just for babies- visit her site!

http://www.leeloublogs.blogspot.com/ Or click on the link on the right!

I hope someone wins something! (if you do share with me!) :)

This past week

Not too much going on here-

We went to the zoo with our mommy & Me group- tons of fun for Brok & the kids!

Brok did really well at his first real session with the OT- He spent a while in a swing that is like a sheet Tied up at the top & he loved it- he swung him for about 5 min in a linear motion then did big circles & then smaller ones while doing big ones- which he loved! Then they bounced on a big ball & did some puzzles & did a teeter totter activity where they helped him balance. Once they did that about 40-45 min into his session they finished with swinging on a swing that is a 3x3ft square board- he just did a half circle motion & Brok was screaming for a long time then all the sudden- SILENCE! He had calmed down! He did that for the rest of the session & then Brok & him went over & HE LET HIM PUT ON HIS SHOES- no fighting, no screaming, just calm- it was amazing! & for the next 2-3hrs he was so peaceful & content to just sit! It was AMAZING! We now have him on what they called a sensory stimulation input diet- every 2 hrs when we can we do 15min of sensory input and then read a book or something- this has worked a little- he LOVES to spin in the computer chair & bounce on the trampoline- I am so excited now! I can see that there is hope!

On a side note- Look at these pictures of Brok- I put the boppy on the floor to give lukas some tummy time & by the time I got him on the floor Brok had grabbed his pink ant book (Thanks Athena!) and sat in between the boppy to read! So CUTE!

Lukas also had an exciting week! He started solid food today & as far as I can tell LOVES it! I fed him carrots & rice cereal- I am so proud of myself! I got a coupon for $1 off 4 jars of beechnut food & they were 40cents each at Wal Mart so I got 4 jars for 20 cents! WOOHOO for me! Anyway- he had a blast eating it- though he wasn't too sure at first- I think he enjoyed it! I am excited to see how that will affect his sleeping pattern! He also let my mom feed him a bottle of formula- just a little but enough to know I can maybe have hope to go out without a baby! & Another first was the jumperoo- he LOVED it- doesn't know how to do the toys but he will stare at Brok playing with the toys- they are so cute together!

My brother Casey also moved in with us this weekend- He is 20 & needed to move out of my parents house- this was good because my parents & little sis got to come down for the weekend & my wonderful photographer of a mom got some super cute shots of Lukas! It makes me so sad that he is growing up but to me he stll seems so small! We have his 4mo appt Thursday but I don't hink he has grown too much. He is SOOOO tiny! He still wears NB pants & 0-3 onsies- Check out this one that I made him!

anyway- besides that we haven't done really anything- had a super bowl party- the cards lost- oh well- woulda been cool but it's all good! Maybe next year!

PS check out my new skils on the sewing machine- I made this for our friend's little girl who just turned 2 today! Her name is Emma!